


it always will be you (wherever you are)

by softirwin



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, tjsi really didnt turn out the way i wanted it to why is my life so hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-21
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-02-18 07:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2340671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softirwin/pseuds/softirwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started off as something kind of unnecessary. </p><p>Calum already <em>had</em> a Twitter account, and he wasn’t someone who was afraid to speak his mind. If he had something to say, he’d say it on his public account. He’d only made the account for when he was in a bit of a shitty mood and wanted to vent or when he had an inappropriate joke that only Michael would find funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it always will be you (wherever you are)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sleepyclifford](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyclifford/gifts).



> alriGHT im getting back into the swing of things ((by avoiding homework Oops)) 
> 
> i actually wrote this fic half whilst watching downton abbey which is why the second part of it is more Eh than the first which is quite distressing but oh well
> 
> this is for my favourite [emily](http://twitter.com/wtfcllffords) endless love for you thank u for your moral support in my life and this fic and every other fic and .

It started off as something kind of unnecessary.

Calum already _had_ a Twitter account, and he wasn’t someone who was afraid to speak his mind. If he had something to say, he’d say it on his public account. He’d only made the account for when he was in a bit of a shitty mood and wanted to vent or when he had an inappropriate joke that only Michael would find funny.

Only then they started gaining fame, started gaining followers like crazy, started gaining popularity from people that Calum hadn’t really anticipated them getting attention from, and that’s when it switched to being something necessary. He needed somewhere private to talk, now, somewhere he couldn’t be seen, somewhere only the boys knew existed. They all had one, by this point, all needed somewhere to talk to each other without being bombarded with spam and without a clogged-up timeline.

But it wasn’t enough, somehow. He still felt too exposed, still felt like he couldn’t open up and say exactly what he wanted to say because Ashton would take it too seriously and Luke wouldn’t understand. So he made a new one, one that only Michael knew existed, one where only Michael could see his three a.m. thoughts.

Michael has one too. He’s got a picture of Calum as his icon and a picture of them hugging as his header, and he’s put every heart emoji on his emoji keyboard in his bio.

(Calum’s got a picture of Michael as his icon and a picture of him kissing Michael on the cheek as his header, and his bio is the dates of their first kiss, their first date and the first time they told each other they loved each other, but whatever.)

They spend most of their time on these private accounts now, because it’s too hectic on their public accounts. Calum’s phone nearly freezes and dies every time he tweets and doesn’t get off his account quickly enough because in half a minute he’ll have six thousand favourites and four thousand retweets, and Ashton and Michael’s are the same. Luke’s deleted the Twitter app and taken to tweeting via text because it saves his phone the trouble.

**_@imintodrummers:_ ** _Guys look at this meme_

**_@sexyclifford:_ ** _No_

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _don’t be a dick Michael_

**_@sexyclifford:_ ** _Wtf stop sticking up for him hes talking about MEMES_

**_@sexyclifford:_ ** _Go and rim him somewhere that isn’t on this twitter account_

Calum pulls a face.

**_@calumfromdablock:_ ** _Stop talking about rimming my dick’s crying_

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _why, do you want Michael to rim you_

**_@imintodrummers:_ ** _Ash please_

**_@calumfromdablock:_ ** _Shut the fuck up Ashton_

**_@sexyclifford:_ ** _Yeah ashton_

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _wtf i’m so unappreciated_

**_@sexyclifford:_ ** _Go to sleep ashton_

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _i see how it is_

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _> :( _

**_@calumfromdablock:_ ** _Why didn’t you just use an emoji_

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _i don’t have that kind of time hood_

Calum hears Luke mutter something to Ashton from his bunk, hears Ashton grumble something back and shift a little, but then they’re both silent. It seems like Ashton’s taken Michael’s advice (for the first and probably only time ever) and gone to sleep; Luke’s been close to dropping off for the past half hour or so, so he’s probably already deep in the depths of Ashton-land or wherever he goes in his dreams (Calum tries not to dwell on it too much). 

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Looks like its just us_

The tweet makes Calum smile for literally no reason at all, and he switches over to his Michael account to reply.

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _It always ends up like this_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Thats because luke and ashton are weak_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Can’t dispute the truth_

He can almost hear Michael smiling in the bunk across the aisle from him, just because he knows Michael _will_ be smiling. He always smiles at Calum.

**_@quiethood:_ ** _I wish our bunks were big enough to cuddle properly in_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Well Luke and Ashton manage to fuck in them so I’m sure they are_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _That’s disgusting_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _My poor penis_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _RIP michaels sex drive_

Calum can’t help but snort, and is immediately groaned at and shushed by Ashton.

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Do you want me to revive it for you_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Nah im alright i have your nudes saved_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Bastard_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Im changing my @ to calumsabully_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _I’m changing mine to michaelwankstomynudes_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _You already know that_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Plus thats too long_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Unlike your dick_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Like my dick_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Dickhead how did you type that faster than me yours had more letters in it_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Pure talent and skill_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Neither of which you possess mr hood_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _You’re so mean to me_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Thats because i love you_

Calum smiles to himself.

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _I’m never going to get tired of you saying that_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Good because im never going to get tired of saying it_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _I love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love y_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Why are you never this cute to my face_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _I so am_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _You dont appreciate my cuddles_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Yes I do_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _No you dont youre so mean to me you never kiss me in public_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _That’s because I don’t want us to get caught_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _What if i do_

Calum’s breath catches in his throat.

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Is this you playing on my exhibitionist kink_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _No its me being tired of not being able to kiss you when you cry in amnesia_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _This isn’t the time or place to be discussing this_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _What would you rather discuss_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Your endless nudes_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Shut up there are like four_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Not on my phone there aren’t_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _More like four billion_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Shut up I’ve got your nudes too_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Stop telling me to shut up i have a right to free speech_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Not under my roof_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _You dont own the bus calum and you definitely dont own ashtons bunk_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Wait unless youre suggesting you own ashton_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Eww_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _If these accounts werent secret I would so screenshot this and show luke_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Good thing they’re private then I can continue to hit on Ashton to my heart’s content_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _No you cant youre only allowed to hit on me_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Ouch possessive boyfriend coming through_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Im not your boyfriend_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Nice way to break up with me_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Shut up you know what i mean youre more than a boyfriend_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Nice way to propose to me_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Youre so frustrating_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Makes me wanna kiss you_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Go on then_

In truth, Calum kind of wants to kiss Michael too. He hasn’t got to kiss him since a few hours ago, because they all got into bed really early with the _intention_ of going to sleep (as if that was ever going to happen though, honestly) and all this talk about kissing has made him miss Michael’s lips.

Luckily, it seems Michael’s feeling the same, because Calum hears the soft thud of feet landing on the floor and then his curtain’s being pulled aside.

“Move up,” Michael whispers. Calum obeys, not wanting to get whisper-shouted at by Ashton again, and lets Michael cuddle up next to him.

“You gonna give me what you came here for or what?” Calum asks when Michael’s made himself comfortable, draping himself all over Calum and humming contentedly in his ear. Michael sighs, all long-suffering, but manoeuvres himself up so he’s kneeling above Calum, one hand either side of his head.

“You’re pretty in the dark,” Michael tells him, before bending down and pressing his lips to Calum’s softly.

“That’s such a backhanded compliment,” Calum mumbles against Michael’s lips.

“I meant, like,” Michael says, between kisses. “You cast pretty shadows.”

“Mhm, ‘course you did,” Calum says, but he has no energy left to argue, chasing Michael’s lips when Michael threatens to pull away. They kiss slowly for what feels like hours, all languid and soft, until Michael hums happily and pulls away, shimmying down Calum’s body to curl up on top of him and rest his head on Calum’s chest, right next to his heart. Calum can feel his own heartbeat pick up at that, and he knows from Michael’s gentle smile that he heard it too. He brings his hand up to tangle in Michael’s hair, stroking through it softly and making Michael’s eyes flutter shut.

“Gonna fall asleep,” he mumbles.

“Go on,” Calum says, because he’s suddenly feeling the aftershocks of the lifestyle they lead like a blow to the chest too. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Love you,” Michael yawns.

“Love you too,” Calum says, but Michael’s already asleep.

-

**_@imintodrummers:_ ** _So did anyone wanna see that meme_

-

It’s a Thursday, and it’s a day off. Calum hasn’t got out of bed yet because he’d woken up to a tweet from Luke saying ‘THERE’S NO FOOD IN THE WHOLE BUS :(((((((‘ and he doesn’t want to be the one to get up, go out and get food only for everyone else to devour it before he’s had any. Luckily, Ashton makes the first move.

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _someone come shopping with me_

**_@sexyclifford:_ ** _No_

**_@imintodrummers:_ ** _I wanna watch Supernatural_

**_@ashtralia:_ ** _…calum?_

Calum groans and buries his face in his pillow, and he hears Ashton’s faint giggle from the living room area.

**_@calumfromdablock:_ ** _For fuck’s sake guts_

**_@calumfromdablock:_ ** _*guys_

“Calum!” Ashton yells, and Calum groans again. The pillow’s starting to get hot from his own breath and is kind of suffocating him, but he _really_ doesn’t want to get up and he _really_ doesn’t want to go shopping with Ashton.

“I’m not even dressed yet!” Calum shouts back.

“Get dressed, then!”

Calum groans again and rolls out of his bunk onto the ground with a loud thud. He lies on his back for a moment, staring up at the ceiling until someone comes in and kicks his shoulder.

“Ow,” he complains, rolling onto his side and sitting up.

“Ashton told me to tell you to get dressed,” Luke says.

“I’m getting dressed,” Calum grumbles, getting to his feet.

“You were star-fishing on the floor,” Luke says.

“You don’t know how I get dressed,” Calum snipes, grabbing a pair of black skinny jeans that look relatively clean from the floor and a Blink shirt from Michael’s bunk. He pulls the shirt over his head and shimmies off his pyjama bottoms, pulling on the jeans. They’re clearly Luke’s, because they carry on for five miles past his ankles and are too tight around his thighs. Whatever – Luke can deal with baggy jeans. Ashton’ll probably steal them, anyway.

“I don’t want to go shopping,” Calum grumbles, slouching into the living room area with Luke in tow.

“You haven’t left the bus for anything other than a show for like- since we got the bus, actually,” Ashton says.

“Neither has Michael,” Calum points out, making Michael look up from where he’s playing FIFA.

“As if anyone can make _Michael_ leave the bus,” Ashton says, standing up and pressing a swift goodbye kiss to Luke over Calum’s shoulder. Calum pulls a disgusted face and ducks away. “C’mon, there’s a supermarket down the road. We just need to get some food.”

“If we bump into fans, I’m from a Mexican called Rodriguez who speaks nothing but Spanish,” Calum says, bending down and kissing Michael goodbye too. Michael whines when he pulls away but it quickly turns to a whine of annoyance when he realises Calum distracting him has just cost him a goal.

“C’mon,” Calum says, before Michael can start on him. “Let’s go.”

They walk off the bus and are immediately met by blinding sunlight (unusual for England), making Calum wish he’d brought his sunglasses along.

“What do we need?” Calum asks as they advance towards the Sainsbury’s just about visible at the end of the road.

“Uh, anything and everything,” Ashton says. “No more M&Ms.”

“No more M&Ms,” Calum agrees, relieved. He’s pretty sure some phantom (Michael Gordon Clifford) keeps topping up the jars. “We need some actual substantial food, as well.”

“Less junk food,” Ashton muses. “See how well that goes down with Michael.”

“I’ll just tell him it was your idea,” Calum says, grinning and stumbling slightly when Ashton nudges him with a scowl. “Health Freak Irwin, out to ruin the band.”

“He’ll leave if we don’t let him have junk food,” Ashton points out.

“Great,” Calum says. “Then we can ask Jack Barakat to join the band. We probably won’t be able to tell the difference.”

“You sure you love him?” Ashton teases.

“Sure as I am that you’re a dickhead,” Calum says.

“This is probably constituted as verbal abuse,” Ashton says.

“Good thing you’re like, a billion and one and they’ll listen to the youngster, then,” Calum says, laughing when Ashton shoves him again.

-

Calum’s _bored_. He doesn’t know why Ashton bothered forcing him to go shopping with him because all he’s done is mutter to himself and push the cart from aisle to aisle without so much as _looking_ at Calum, let alone asking him what he wants.

Calum’s been mindlessly scrolling through Twitter for the past twenty minutes or so, favouriting tweets here and there and retweeting one or two if they’re really funny, when a tweet notification suddenly appears on his screen.

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _I miss you luke’s being a dick please come back soon_

Calum’s breath catches in his throat.

**_@quiethood:_ ** _I’ll be back soon Ashton’s taking ages and doing all the shopping himself we’re nearly done though_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _I miss my mum i miss home i miss school i miss when we weren’t famous my chest hurts please come back_

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Are you okay Mikey?_

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _Everything hurts i miss being young_

“Ash,” Calum says, feeling a growing sense of anxiousness clenching his stomach. “Ash.”

“Mm?” Ashton’s barely paying attention.

“I have to go back,” Calum says.

“What?” Ashton asks. “Why?”

“I just- I have to go,” Calum says desperately. “You’re alright finishing this by yourself, yeah?” Ashton looks like he wants to argue with Calum but can clearly see the urgency written all over Calum’s face and nods.

“Yeah,” he says. “Hope he’s okay.” Calum nods tightly and pretty much power-walks off, out of the coolness of the supermarket and back into the fierce heat of outdoors. He can see the bus from here if he squints, but it’s still pretty far away so he decides he might as well jog the rest of the way back. He’s barely been exercising recently anyway, thanks to Michael being a clingy kind of person and literally not letting Calum get out of bed most mornings, so it’s going to do his figure some good.

It doesn’t take him long to reach the bus once he starts jogging, and he struggles with the door for less time than usual (only twelve seconds or so this time).

“Where’s Michael?” he asks when he finally makes it inside and up the steps.

“Bunks,” Luke says with a small, worried frown. “He got a bit- uh, weird.”

“Yeah,” Calum says absent-mindedly, already pushing his way through the living room area and into the bunks. “Mikey?”

“Cal?” Michael’s voice sounds small and still tinted with the edges of fright, and Calum pulls aside his own bunk curtain to find Michael curled up in it.

“Michael,” he says, sighing in relief (although he’s not really sure what he’s relieved about. He hadn’t exactly been expecting to find Michael dismembered or anything). “What happened?”

“Luke started talking about how most people find girls on the road and- and how it’s all so different now that we’re famous and in a band and how we’d be able to be together normally if we weren’t and-“

“Hey, hey, slow down,” Calum says, lying down in the bunk and nudging Michael gently so he moves up a bit. Michael moves up reluctantly but clings to Calum, nuzzling into his neck and clinging to his biceps. “Take a deep breath and tell me again.” Michael takes a deep breath and starts over.

“Luke was worrying that Ashton would find someone better than him and it made me think that maybe _you_ would find someone better and then he said that it’s all changed since we left school and I want to go _home_ , Cal, we haven’t been home in so long and I miss my mum and I miss Australia and all the stupid accents and I miss the animals and when we went to the zoo the other day I nearly got in the kangaroo enclosure and joined them,” Michael says, all in one breath. 

“C’mon, you know that’s stupid,” Calum says, turning his head so he can kiss Michael’s forehead. “I’ve been stuck with you since we were seven; I’m not going to suddenly abandon you now, am I? There’s no one better for me. And of course things have changed since we left school – look at us, we’re _famous_. It’s not a bad thing. I still get to kiss you and hug you and touch you and be with you – more so than I would get to be with you if we had stayed back home, I bet you.”

“I guess,” Michael says. “I still miss home, though.”

“We’ll be home in a few months,” Calum promises, although he has a horrible feeling it might be more than just a few months. “Just find a home on the road.”

“You’re my home on the road,” Michael says decidedly.

“Then you’ve got home everywhere you go for the rest of your life,” Calum says, and Michael smiles.

“Why, are you gonna follow me to the toilet?” he asks, and Calum’s stomach unclenches. Jokes are a sign of recovery from Michael. “Even after all these years, I’m still finding out more and more of your kinks.”

“Shut up,” Calum says. “You know what I’m into.”

“Apparently I do,” Michael says suggestively. Calum smiles, but doesn’t reply, making them lapse into silence.

“I’m sorry for making you come back from shopping,” Michael mumbles after a moment. “I was being stupid and overreacting. I just- I miss it, sometimes. The way we were. ‘Cause we’ll never get that again.”

“It’s fine,” Calum says. It’s more than fine – he’d been bored out of his _mind_. “We’ve got something everyone wants, though,” he points out. “We wanted this too, remember.”

“When we were young and stupid,” Michael sighs.

“Speak for yourself,” Calum says.

“Yeah, you were _so_ smart, which is why you were predicted fifty billion fails,” Michael says sarcastically.

“At least I passed Music,” Calum says. “More than can be said for _you_ , Michael Clifford.”

“Do you want to say that to my _album_?” Michael says, and Calum laughs and tightens his grip on Michael.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” he says, shaking his head fondly.

“Yeah, you love me,” Michael says.

“Love you enough to not buy any more M&Ms,” Calum says, slipping it in quickly and hoping Michael will pass over it in the sentimental moment.

No such luck.

(Luke tells him later that Michael’s scream of _what the fuck did you just say Calum Thomas Hood you’d better be joking or I’ll chew off your dick next time I suck you off_ brought their bus driver running back from his smoke break, thinking Calum had been violently murdered.)

-

**_@quiethood:_ ** _Youre the better half of me_

Calum smiles to himself.

**_@sleepyclifford:_ ** _You’re the only half I need_


End file.
